Making friends as an adult can feel challenging. Unfortunately the days are ” sorta” gone when friendships just fell into place through school or sports teams. But here’s the good news, building that circle is possible, it just takes a little more effort. Now this may all seem silly, but I wanted to talk about it because it truly has made long work and school days so much more enjoyable. I have found that my everyday community has been built by the people I have gone out of the way to connect with. Whether you’re striking up a conversation with a classmate, connecting with someone online over shared interests, or simply talking to someone because you recognize them being a mutual, expanding your circle can lead to fulfilling friendships.
Here are some practical ways that have worked for me, to make those connections.
1. Start with Who’s Already Around You
Sometimes, the easiest way to meet someone new is to look right next to you. I always gravitate towards people that give off good energy when entering a classroom at the start of the semester. Whether it’s the person you always sit next to in class, your coworker at the office, or someone who seems friendly at the coffee shop you frequent—these are all potential connections.
Don’t be shy, say hey and complement something they are wearing, there planner, or something of equivalent( girls love that). Make a joke about the class or work situation you’re both in, or comment on something you’ve noticed you have in common (maybe they also love your favorite type of coffee). If it feels natural, suggest meeting up outside of that setting. Whether it’s grabbing a coffee after class or working on a project together, you’re laying the foundation for something more than just small talk. I have seriously made the best friends doing this and we all have been a positive addition to each other’s lives.
2. Pursue Friendships Through Shared Interests
Shared interests are one of the best ways to build lasting friendships. Some of my closest friends and I bonded over simple things like our mutual love for cooking, a enjoyment of healthy living, or even a shared love for latin music. These small interests can create strong foundations for friendships, because they all lead to hang out opportunities. If you both love coffee, suggest grabbing a cup together. If you bond over fitness, meet up for a workout or hike. It might feel awkward to put yourself out there, but trust me they will be grateful you even asked( most people are too scared to.) 🙂
3. Expand Beyond Your Comfort Zone
It’s easy to get stuck with your go-to friends—the ones you’ve known forever. They’re comfortable, familiar, and you know exactly what to expect. But limiting yourself to the same circle can cause you to miss out on meeting people with different experiences, perspectives, and energy.
By expanding your circle, you open yourself up to new possibilities. Join a group activity, attend a class, or say yes to social invitations that you wouldn’t normally consider. Pushing yourself beyond the familiar can introduce you to people who bring new dimensions to your life. Its like travelling in your own city, life can be so exciting if you are constantly switching up your routines. Hold on to the good friends tightly, but don’t limit yourself new friends while doing so.
4. Follow Up and Keep the Momentum Going
One of the biggest challenges in forming adult friendships is keeping the momentum. We’ve all been there—had a great conversation with someone new, then never followed up. Friendships require effort to grow. It’s not enough to meet someone once; you need to put in the work to stay connected.
If you hit it off with someone, follow up! Send a quick message saying how much you enjoyed talking, or suggest hanging out again soon. Relationships are built through consistent interaction, so don’t hesitate to reach out. I also think its super kind when there is someone you want to make time for but haven’t yet, to verbalize that your thinking of them and that you would love to make it happen. It’s so easy and normal to get caught up in our typical rotation of hangouts, but showing affection towards this person if you really do want to find time, is a good gesture.
6. Learn from the People You Meet
Every new friend brings something unique to your life. Whether it’s a fresh perspective, a new hobby, or a different way of thinking, there’s always something to learn from others. By expanding your circle, you allow yourself to grow by exposing yourself to different viewpoints and experiences.
This openness to learning helps you not only grow your friendship but also develop personally. I don’t know about yall, but I have grown a lot as a person through navigating friendships, roommates, relationships, and classmates. I am very grateful for the people I have brought into my life, because I would not be the same person without them. Broadening your perspective by seeing the world through someone else’s eyes might just change your life and make you a better version of yourself.
Final Thoughts: Making Friends Takes Effort, But It’s Worth It
Making friends as an adult requires intention and a bit of courage. But if you put yourself out there and stay open to meeting new people, you’ll find that building meaningful friendships is possible. From chatting in class to stepping outside your usual friend group, every small step counts.
The next time you meet someone new, don’t be afraid to take the first step. You never know where that new connection might lead!
